Meet Nappy
New Co-Blogger Napoleon, aka “Nappy”
A funny thing happened on my journey to enlightenment and eternal glory.
I wrote recently about the concept and exercise I’ve been working on to “break the habit of being myself.” That is, to change my habitual responses to emotions.
The emotion I have been focused on is fear. No, ladies, I don’t have more fear than others. But I am working on changing my response to the feeling. For example, anger or frustration at work is usually a symptom of fear of failure. When you are overwhelmed and someone asks you to do something tedious that sets you off, it’s not the request that is the underlying cause, it’s a deep-seated fear that you are being set up for failure. I don’t want that negative response, or several others in my personal and professional life, so I am working to fix them.
This exercise and practice teaches you to unlearn the negative habitual response. To summarize the practice, after meditating, there is a visualization exercise where I create the emotional feeling and practice a different, more positive response. I am retraining my reactions to different emotions. I have been recognizing when a feeling of fear takes hold, stopping the habitual reaction — which may be anger or an anxious thought pattern — and changing it to what my ideal state would be. The idea is that over time, my habitual response will be the new, desired state. I have to say, preliminary results seem to show it’s working.
While I started this project to improve various professional and social emotional reactions, something unexpected happened. I got a puppy.
I have always wanted a dog. Over the years, I have spent time volunteering as a dog walker at shelters in DC and Houston. But I have told myself that, with my travel and various pursuits, I would be a terrible dog owner. Sometime later in life, I thought.
Costa Rican Nappy.
On my recent trip to Costa Rica, I met a wonderful little Yorkie. He was staying at the Airbnb next to mine and would come into my room each morning to say hello. I didn’t know his name but took to calling him Napoleon, or Nappy for short. He was a sweetheart and brightened each morning.
Since returning from that trip, I’ve had a hard time not thinking about how wonderful he was and how I need a Nappy in my life every day.
This past Saturday, he was on my mind as I was doing my meditation and fear exercises. It led me to recognize that my excuses for not having a dog were based on fear. I was scared of the responsibility and scared that it would inconvenience me. Once I saw that dilemma for what it was, it made my choice really simple.
I went to the dog store on Sunday and saw my little guy sleeping in a pen with three of his friends. But when they went to open it, he sprung up. Even though he was the youngest and smallest of the group, he was pushing his way around to be at the front. In fact, he stole another dog’s chew bone while I was there.
Driving my Nappy boy home from the dog store
After taking him out and holding him for a few minutes, I knew he was mine. I took him home that day.
Nappy was born on June 17th. While most Yorkies grow to be about seven pounds, both of his parents were nine pounds, so he’s going to be a real stud. He enjoys naps, running and bouncing around, and is a terrific lapdog while reading or watching Batman.
Is he a lot of work? Oh yeah.
Training a dog seems to be as much about training myself as the dog. It reminds me of that Seinfeld joke that if aliens were to look down on earth watching us pick up dog poop, they would think dogs are running the show. My schedule and habits are at Nappy’s mercy.
I stretch while he eats breakfast and meditate and read with him napping in my lap. Even now I am writing this post on my iPhone, as I want to let Nappy rest on my lap for as long as I can before I have to start my work day.
Housebreaking him can’t come soon enough, but I think I am learning his signals and tells. It should not surprise you that I am every bit as interested in learning dog body language as I am in learning our own. I am also finding that most of the challenge isn’t with him doing something wrong. He’s signaling me and I am not reading it correctly. He’s perfect, I’m the problem.
Nappy is also keeping me more active, as there is never a moment to rest where I can’t consider where he is and what he wants. And I am trying to make sure Nappy time replaces wasted time, like internet surfing or Tv watching, instead of productive time like exercising or meditating. In that way, my little guy can help me live a healthier, more enriching life.
Even with all the new responsibilities, every time I feel a little overwhelmed he is quick to remind me how wonderful he is.
He’s a natural walker. He enjoys standing on his back legs to paw at my legs when I’m not walking fast enough for him. This encourages me to speed up so he can run alongside me.
He took to me immediately and always wants to be near me and on my lap. He follows me around the apartment, eager to see what I am doing next.
He’s a social magnet. People in my apartment complex who have never looked up when I walk by are smiling and saying hello now that I’ve got my little champ by my side.
Adjusting to his needs has been a challenge, but it feels good to break out of the routine. I even canceled a trip to Costa Rica without hesitation because he wouldn’t be old enough to fly yet. But we’ll get him on a plane soon.
Nappy is my new adventure, adventure companion, and carry-on.
And he’s the best decision I’ve made in a long time.