My Warrior's Tale
I have never shared this story with anyone.
Many people knew what I was doing at the time, but no one knew why. I have always felt like I would sound crazy explaining it.
In March of 2020 – yes, that month – I was living in D.C. and rock climbing as often as I could, at the gym and on my trips. Of course, being myself, I also started reading books to improve my climbing skills.
That led me to a book that changed the course of my life: Arno Irlner’s The Rock Warrior’s Way: Mental Training for Climbers.
Arno wrote the book as a practical guide for overcoming mental hurdles while climbing. But it was based on lessons he had learned and studied over decades from various “warrior” literature.
The tips in the book were eye-opening. It taught me how crazy the mind is. When climbing, the mind tries to prevent you from taking action, or make you move faster when you really need to relax and stay focused. The book teaches how this mental noise is your mind’s reaction to stress, and overcoming fears is a matter of tuning out the noise. Of course, this applies to much more than climbing.
“The mind doesn’t like stress and will engage in thought processes designed to escape that stress… Consider the magnitude of this realization: Your mind gives you false information prior to engaging a new situation. This false information is essentially a lie.”
Fascinated by these insights, I was led to the appendix of the book and his recommended reads on the ways of the warrior. These books aren’t about warriors in the sense of combat, but applying the discipline and focus of a warrior to an everyday, peaceful life.
These are books like Carlos Castaneda’s Don Juan series, Dan Millman’s Way of the Peaceful Warrior, and Théun Mares’ Return of the Warriors.
One that I couldn’t put down was The Craft of the Warrior, by Robert Spencer. It was a summary of the various literature and a how-to guide for warriorship. Bear in mind that the concepts involved are written vaguely and with some mystique. But let me try to distill down a summary:
A warrior lives life with impeccability, seeking to increase his personal power.
Personal power is grown by entering into the unknown. The more we venture into the unknown, the more we grow. The more confident we become. The more experiences we have and learn from. A warrior seeks to change what they call an “assemblage point”, which is like the frame of reference from where you see things. For instance, if you have never been out of the country, you do not see the U.S. the same way as someone who travels often does. If you have never had Mexican food, you do not have the same frame of reference about what is good food as someone from Texas does.
Those are simple examples, but amplify that exponentially. Think how much your views would change if you started purposefully seeking the unknown in all aspects of life. If you started going toward what scares you. Taking the long route to work instead of the short. Think about how these new experiences could increase your personal power, whether through confidence, knowledge, or even physical conditioning.
To prepare to enter the unknown, a warrior seeks impeccability. Impeccability means to do one’s best, always. Think about how perfect you could be if you applied complete focus to everything you do throughout the day. When you enter the unknown, you do so with complete presence of mind. That’s where the training comes in, mental and physical, to make yourself impeccable.
“The aim of the warrior is to achieve as much perfection as he is capable of in any given situation. ”
To harness your energy to enter the unknown, you must avoid power sinks and power leaks. These could be bad diet or poor sleep, or they could be mental distractions or excessive worry.
According to Spencer, self-importance is one of the greatest power leaks. Think how much energy is consumed defending your ego. Having to prove you are right, being offended by how you are treated, or worrying about what people think of you. How much energy would you save if the next time someone offended you, you just ignored it?
If you have seen the movie Free Solo, Alex Honnold has a monologue where he tips his hat that he’s gone down this same rabbit hole:
“It’s about being a warrior, it doesn’t matter about the cause necessarily. This is your path and you will pursue it with excellence. You face your fear because your goal demands it. That is the warrior spirit.”
When Covid shut the world down in March 2020, I was living in D.C., immersing myself in these lessons. I didn’t realize then how that would present an opportunity for me.
But as soon as the lockdown happened, I sought to chase the unknown. I recall when everything shut down, realizing that this meant an opportunity to learn how to do new physical exercises to stay in shape. I stopped lifting at the gym that closed and replaced it with running, doing pull-ups from a pipe in my apartment’s garage, and making use of the equipment at the park down the street.
As the shutdown continued for several weeks, I continued to search for opportunities to venture out. A major decision point was when Texas, my home state, reopened about six weeks later. Hard to believe now, but the idea of driving across the country at that stage of the pandemic seemed insane. I didn’t even want to tell people what I was doing.
But into the unknown I went. Packing up my things in my Honda Civic and driving for a day and a half to Houston. It was thrilling. Arriving home was terrific for my mental health. Reuniting with friends and my brother. Seeing how much the city had changed. Going to bars and restaurants that had patios. Proving to myself that what had once been a crazy idea was actually a terrific decision – one that was increasing my personal power and confidence.
I would stay there, working remotely for a couple of months, continuing my pursuit of the unknown where I could. This meant going to the local rock climbing gym when it reopened and meeting new climbing partners, trying yoga and Crossfit, socializing, dating, and reuniting with old friends I had lost touch with, all while bouncing from one Airbnb to another.
One memorable moment came when trying to make some homemade green tomatillo salsa at a cheap Airbnb I was staying. I had never made salsa before, so of course, I had to try it.
Unfortunately, roasting the tomatillos led to an electrical fire in my oven. I had to put it out with a fire extinguisher, which wrecked the whole kitchen. I still had a week or so to go in the rental.
I recall the Airbnb host apologizing to me in the living room as he tried to think of a way to make up to me that I would now be without a place to stay. But I saw the situation for the opportunities it presented.
First, an opportunity not to waste energy getting upset: I calmly told him it wasn’t a big deal. And second, an opportunity to change my plan and push further on this path.
“Tom was an amazing guest. He was our first guest actually and dealt with a few issues he shouldn’t have had to. He was very respectful and relaxed dealing with the several issues that arose with the condo. Thanks for being so flexible and patient Tom. Definitely recommend!”
I realized this path was what I wanted and saw no reason to keep my unused apartment in D.C. I put in my notice there and left Houston. I stopped in Tennessee for a week to climb and work remotely and then made it back to D.C. for a week to throw out most of my things, sell a couple of items, say a few goodbyes, and then pack up my car once again.
For the next three months, I was on a constant adventure. Driving across the country to the Western states, I would find a new Airbnb for a week or two at a time to work from during the days, then explore, climb, and adventure in my free time.
“Savoured in full awareness, the warrior’s life is never empty or boring, but instead filled with a never-ending sequence of wondrous events, each leading him into a new adventure, a new challenge.”
At every stop, I would figure out a new way to set up my home office, a new way to get physical fitness into my day, a new way to eat a healthy diet with limited kitchen access, and then explore the area as best as I could. In my eyes, anything new and different was the target. It might be as simple as walking into a new coffee shop and finding a different way to greet the cashier, or meditating outside in the morning instead of in my room.
I rafted and camped and climbed in Moab, UT; I hiked and climbed in Boulder, Colorado Springs, and Golden, CO. I hiked and played golf in Phoenix, where the temperatures were over 100.
As bizarre as it sounds, while driving out West during those months with all of my possessions in my trunk, I recall wanting to get a flat tire in the middle of nowhere. I wanted to see how I would handle the challenge. For better or worse, that never happened though. And I will never know what that experience may have taught me.
Eventually, I would make my way back to Houston. By the time I arrived, Brazil had reopened for tourists. I had made it a point by this time not to keep up with the news, as it was a waste of energy to watch the politicization of the pandemic.
But when I arrived at the airport to make my flight to Rio, I opened up the news to see several headlines warning that Brazil was “Hell on Earth” for Covid. I had a brief moment of doubt about what I was doing. But by that point, I was not going to let fear stop me from anything. It piqued my curiosity instead.
Into the unknown I went, and when I arrived in Rio, I found the international news was over-sensationalized. Life was going on, with masks and other precautions. In fact, for me, getting tested in Rio was much easier than in the U.S.
I climbed and explored. I would return to Brazil a couple more times during this time to climb, while also making trips to Mexico and Costa Rica.
These books and this experience are the background for Rule 8: Devour the Unknown. They taught me how moving away from the familiar increases our confidence and knowledge, and how our comfort zone is elastic and can be expanded. Once expanded, you’ll find it hard to go back.
By early 2021, offices were trying to reopen, though I was able to secure permanent remote work from Houston.
The pandemic would come to an end.
My mind would start to turn away from the warrior literature and more to meditation and mindfulness practices. And my eye would turn from climbing to surfing, and other pursuits.
But these months were the most exciting time of my life.
“The ancient warrior traditions, indigenous to every continent’s history, are receiving a revival and renovation so that they apply to the present. The new legends provide a code to the universe that can be used by modern people who must deal with today’s society... This code guides us in relating to all things, understanding our place in the order of the world, and developing a wider and deeper perspective; enhancing our perception, sensitivity, and action; exercising free choice within the parameters of personal discipline; and living healthy physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual lives. Emerging in the tales and writings of the last half century, and supported by teachings far older, is the new warrior mythology.”