8 Rules for Life
As “The Hottest New Blogger on the Internet"1, many of my readers are dying to know the secret to my success. Well, personal growth is important to me, and after much trial and error, I’ve learned a few things. I present to you my top tips for living and loving life.
Rule 1: Wake Up Unreasonably Early
From the moment you begin interacting with people each day, you will be pulled in every direction except the one you want to head in. Your friends, family, coworkers — as much as you may love them — all of these people will steal your time with their own needs and wants.
While your nights can always be taken away in response to the events of the day, you can make it a point to jealously guard your mornings. Imagine waking up at 4 am, with several glorious, undisturbed hours to yourself to explore your passions, work on your projects and pursue your dreams. The world is your oyster, and the quiet earth is your playground.
For even more satisfaction, fade into a blissful sleep at 8 pm, leaving your friends, family, and coworkers anxiously waiting for a response that won't come until the morning.
Rule 2: Train Your Mind
Your mind will color every experience and interaction you have. Make every experience as clear, calm, present and focused as it can be.
Meditation has become more and more mainstream, and the weight of the evidence continues to build that, just like your physical health, training your mind is critical to your quality of life.
The most common resistance I hear from people is, “meditation? Not for me. I can’t sit still like that.” Well, that's the very reason you need it more than anyone. To put it another way, it's like saying, "I don't exercise because I get winded from walking."
Go even further though. Investigate mental resilience training, through cold exposure or even rejection-proofing yourself.
The voice in your head convincing you not to do something because it’s mildly uncomfortable is a liar and a fraud. Train yourself to ignore that voice and take charge of your decision-making.
Rule 3: Physical Fitness — You Gotta Do It
“It is a shame for a man to grow old without seeing the beauty and strength of which his body is capable.”
This is not a fitness blog (until my dear readers demand it).
But I hope we can all agree that the health benefits of exercise and fitness are numerous and persuasive. This rule is about more than that though. Let me explain:
I’ve been an out-of-shape person and an in-shape person and everything in between. And boy, I tell ya, the world treats you a lot better when you’re taking care of yourself.
Being your best physical self will give you more energy, happiness and confidence; as you radiate that outwardly, the world responds in kind. People are nicer and enjoy being around you more. Life just gets better and easier. If you think being in shape is hard, I would counter that being in peak physical form is life on easy mode.
Now, I’m not (yet) a fitness expert or blogger. But a common mistake I see people make is to overvalue the working out side of the coin and undervalue the eating side of the coin. In my experience, being lean and looking fit is about 80 percent knowing how to eat and only 20 percent what your physical training is.
This is great news. You don’t have to devote hours and hours to working out each day. You also don’t need to buy any expensive contraptions or sign up for any expensive clubs.
Rule 4: Learn to Decode and Encode Body Language
Reading body language is like a superpower.
Imagine being able to understand how people feel and what they are saying beyond (or without) their words.
A few years ago I made a conscious attempt to focus on body language when interacting with people instead of spoken language. As I would notice different gestures or fidgets, I would then google what they meant to understand what I was seeing.
I was blown away noticing subtle hair flips and self-soothing arm rubs. I felt like Neo from the Matrix when he started seeing the code. Suddenly I realized that I had been missing out on this silent conversation happening around me my whole life.
This other conversation is important to understand, as it’s more honest than the unscripted, spoken word. You can see the emotions someone is feeling if you stop listening to the words they are using. And by paying attention to and mastering your own body language, you can better learn what you are actually communicating to the outside world.
Make it a point to learn to decode and encode body language and tonal cues. Place a premium on what these signals are telling you over what words are being thrown your way.
“Uh, yeah, Tom — I yuh think [neck scratch] starting a blog is, uh, really great idea [arm rub],” is not a statement of support.
Fortunately, that kind of feedback doesn’t matter to me, because:
Rule 5: There is No Wisdom in the Crowd
“Everything popular is wrong.”
Get really comfortable ignoring public opinion.
I have to imagine that every groundbreaking, revolutionary and game-changing new idea (like this blog) first started off as a crazy thought or remark. It was ridiculed by the creator’s friends, family or coworkers – essentially anyone who first heard it.
Consider that no matter which side of the God debate you are on, it means that you think hundreds of millions or even billions of people are completely, dead wrong on a matter of potentially serious consequence. We could say similar about issues in politics or the maze of COVID debates that took place over the last few years.
And the point is that there are lots of crazy ideas and nonsense that are widely held positions. You shouldn’t take comfort in knowing there are lots of people out there that agree with you. In fact, the older I get, the more I have seen what once were fringe theories or ideas that later turned out to be true.
Be skeptical of public opinion, rigorous in your pursuit of knowledge, and careful with whom you share the truth.
“Common sense is nothing more than a deposit of prejudices laid down by the mind before you reach eighteen.”
Rule 6: The 4th Glass of Wine Holds All the Consequences
It’s an iron law, as consistent as the passing of time.
Consequences of Each Drink
Be modest in your indulgence or accept the price that comes if you don’t. Rest assured though, my smartest friends and I are working hard to discover how to skip directly from the 3rd to the 5th glass.
Rule 7: Limit Your Screen Time
The less time I spend on a screen, the more time I spend doing things I love or want to do.
The feeling of boredom must have evolved for some purpose. Do we think it was to signal that we have available time for noble pursuits? Or that we need to check an Instagram feed or turn on Netflix?
Be as thrifty with your attention as you are with your time and money. Imagine how much more productive, talented and happy we all could be if the extra hour or two a day we spend on our screens were redirected to our crafts, hobbies, and passions.
In my experience, the more I reduce my daily screen time, the more I find myself reading or meditating or working out, or any number of more constructive things. As a bonus, cut out the daily news and discover how much it helps your happiness.
Rule 8: Devour the Unknown
Stop hiding in your comfort zone.
All of my greatest experiences in life have involved trying new things or meeting new people. The more we move away from what we are familiar with and into unknown territories, the greater our range of experience and the more we grow in confidence and knowledge.
Your comfort zone is elastic and can be expanded. Once you push past it, you’ll find it hard to go back.
When given the opportunity to try something new, people often decline based on a personality or narrative they’ve created. They tell themselves “I don’t like that” or “I’m scared of that” or “I’m an introvert.”
Don’t let these stories we tell ourselves hold you back from new adventures. Make the choice to try something new and watch as your narrative changes.
These are the rules my readers must know by heart. Study them closely, tattoo them to your body, succeed beyond your wildest dreams, start your own blog, rinse, and repeat.
Your New Leader and Truth Teller,
Tom
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1. Anonymous